Consent

I know this is on a lot of minds right now as the news is full of the Cornell case. I see a lot of folks calling on parents to not only teach their daughters how to be safe, but also teach their sons how to be a safe man.

It all comes down to consent. Consent can and should be taught early and often. I do this through telling an infant I’m going to change their diaper. I look at their cues as they do indeed tell us through body language whether they consent or not. Toddlers continue to learn when caregivers don’t enforce sharing and don’t allow children to take from another. Caregivers can step in and let the child who wants the activity know that they will have a turn when the other child is finished. Toddlers learn consent when we teach them to tell the other children “mine,” “no,” and “stop.” These words help the child set boundaries and caregivers can support them to uphold those boundaries by repeating their words to other children who try to take their activity. Preschoolers continue to learn consent when we allow them space, privacy, and independence. They learn to ask before hugging or joining a child in play. Caregivers can continue to support boundary enforcement.

It is really not a difficult concept to teach. Heck, I learned today there are tons of picture books teaching consent in early childhood education. I believe it comes down to respect. When adults respect children enough to teach them real skills they will use throughout their lives, society will change.