Youth Sports

I realize this may seem a bit off topic from my usual posts, but bear with me and I think you’ll see the relevance.

Why are youth sports on my mind? I spent the entire day at a middle school volleyball tournament. Now this is not my first foray in youth sports as my child has participated in rec league sports since I forced her into t-ball at 6 years old (a whole different story that I’ll save for another day). They start the rec leagues here at 5 years old and I know they offer younger programs in other areas. Each time we spend the day watching and cheering, I can’t help but notice how the children are reacting. As an educator and coach, it’s natural for me to be curious about different styles and their affects on the children. Despite the research showing that positive coaching produces the best athlete results, I have seen very few positive coaches over the years that support the children to play and enjoy the game/effort. Heck, in my 10 year athletic career as a three sport athlete I can also only recall 3 or 4 coaches that were truly positive. If you’ve never seen the disappointment on a child’s face when they’ve just made an error and then looked at their disappointed coach, consider yourself lucky. Sometimes it takes too much of my energy to hold back from sharing my feelings with the coaches in the moment.

Today, I saw several middle schoolers cry. Not because they were physically injured as that is to be expected, but because of the disappointment in themselves and in their coaches who let them down. I do not feel that children should have to deal with those feelings at the middle school level. In my opinion, sports at this level should still be focused on having fun and encouraging children to try new things.

I believe there are generally two philosophies surrounding middle school sports: weed out the less athletic players or encourage more participation. You’ve probably gathered by now that I believe the latter. Helping children enjoy healthy movement that they can use throughout their lives is a win-win in my book especially as we see the health declines across the country.

Anyway, I digress. Positive coaching, positive learning, these are the methods that build strong students from infancy through adulthood! Positive relationships can change the course of someone’s life. Being an encouraging coach, teacher, parent while also teaching skills can be a bit challenging at times, but we owe it to the children to make that the exception rather than the rule. One quote I saw somewhere that I think of often is something like “Let’s give kids a childhood they don’t have to recover from.”

Stop toxic, sarcastic comments. Stop telling kids one thing and doing another. Stop looking so disappointed when they make a mistake even if it is the eighth time. Let’s remind them that the learning comes out of failure and mistakes. Let’s encourage them to try again. Let’s smile and high five them for their efforts. Let’s be kinder adults.

Disclaimer: This was written entirely by me, a human being who has read a lot of books and articles about education and coaching. Inspiration for this post includes: Steve Magness, David and Megan Roche, Peter Gray, and Dr. Lisa Damour.